Contact
Streaming
Map
 
Enriching lives

Politically Correct Santa

Home » News » Politically Correct Santa
AMC PC Santa

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to 'Elves',
'Vertically Challenged' they were calling themselves.

And labour conditions at the North Pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.

And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know, that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the H.S.A..
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.

Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called 'Unenlightened'.
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows:
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.

So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.

And as for the gifts, why, he'd never a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her!
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.

Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.

And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passé;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even YOU.

So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...

'May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth'.

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*http://www.cybersalt.org/entertainment

Health warning; Not to be taken seriously. Only to be read with tongue in cheek.

popular recent storiesAlso in the news

Thought For
Rev. Richard Atkinson: Sat 10 Apr 5:00am

'Richard's concludes our week's reflections on the resurrection, helped by John 21:15-23..Jesus Reinstates Peter15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs." 16 Again Jesus said, "Simon son...

Thought For
Ken Harris: Fri 09 Apr 5:00am

Ken discusses events following the death and resurrection of Jesus and specifically, John's account of the disciples fishing on Lake Galilee in John 21:1-14.Jesus and the Miraculous Catch of Fish1 Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Galilee. It happened this way: 2 Simon Peter, Thomas (also known as Didymus ), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of...

AMC Karibuni Zoom quiz
Joy Murphy: Thu 08 Apr 12:00pm

The situation re Covid-19 is dire in Kenya, with all education closed down again, apart from those taking National exams. It follows that the children we support are therefore not getting any food and we have to resort to sending out food parcels (or food vouchers where it isn't safe to give food) again.In Kibra, Makena, the social worker, fed all the children from the project, and was...