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Book of Helen

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As we bid a final fond farewell to Helen and Andrew as they head for their District Chair's manse in Crewe, we have a further reading from The Book of Helen...

...Now the Angel Gabriel saw the good works that Helen hath done. And he saith unto the other angels, She is good. She needeth to play to bigger houses than Aylesbury. So he saith unto the First Angel, Go ye unto her and say she should go back north from whence she came, where she can have her own Big Show. But when Helen heareth the angel, she saith unto her, Thou must have the wrong address. Go ye back and check the post code. Then Gabriel sendeth the Second Angel with the same message but on hearing it, Helen saith, Nay, there are people who covet their own Big Show. Ask one of them. Now when Gabriel sent the Third Angel with the same message, Helen became deeply troubled and wondered if the Lord was indeed calling her. So she sought counsel and she prayed mightily. And she went to the top of the highest mountain to pray. And when she came down from the mountain called Mount Coombe Hill Actually, she was carrying a tablet. And her husband Andrew saith unto her, What is written on thy tablet? But Helen, answering saith, I know not what is written on the tablet, for it is flat. Give me thy charger. And when the tablet was charged, the message from on high saith, Thou art appointed Chair of the Chester and Stoke-on-Trent District of the Methodist Church. Subject to approval by Conference. Terms and conditions apply. Please readeth our privacy policy. We useth cookies on this website...

Oh, we'll miss 'em! But we look forward to welcoming Richard and Louise Atkinson and family on Saturday, 24th August at 4pm. Click here for more details.

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